My favorite ep of TMIweekly, ever.Why is it your favorite episode, Julia? Because you get a change to spout off the one piece of dating advice you refuse to let go of because you obviously think women shouldn’t expect to be more than a masturbating recepticle for men? FUCK. THAT. I am so tired of this prude shtick. Do what you want, be happy, and don’t put so much stock in men that you don’t allow yourself to enjoy sex because omgomgomg he may not want to marry you then! If a man cannot handle a woman who enjoys sex, he is utter shit and not worth dating. Are you happy constantly compromising your wants and needs to get men? “I don’t let men have control over me!” my ASS.
I think dating as a way of getting to know people and form relationships is, in general, a counterproductive way to pursue relationships, mostly because it is a formal process with rituals and rules that basically makes it impossible for either person to behave naturally or to get to know the actual person on the other side of the restaurant table or bag of movie theatre popcorn. You both basically perform certain roles and whoever fills your expectations of what a “good date” is supposed to look like, you assume that means they are a good person or a compatible fit. You can waste months “dating” someone, only to get involved in a real relationship with them and find out they aren’t really who you thought they were at all. Not that this can’t happen otherwise, but the likelihood that you will actually get to know anyone for who they are by dating is, well, almost nil.
That being said, I think when you put all of your romantic focus on this series of rituals, rather than on the people involved, it’s no wonder you end up with this really screwed up view of sex as and relationships as, “On the first date, THIS happens, and then on the second date, THIS happens, and you can’t do THAT until x date, if y and z conditions are met and the stars align perfectly.” The argument for this is that a man won’t respect you unless you follow all of the rules. The problem? If you have to follow arbitrary and archaic rules proscribing the “correct” sex and gender roles in order to get a guy to respect you, you have a problem, and not only because you are adhering to a set of gender roles that are best left in the 1950s. If you’re dating people who don’t respect you to begin with, what makes you think they are going to magically start respecting you just because you wait until the third date or the fifth date or the hundredth date to start sleeping with them?
Mutual respect, in my opinion, is the first condition that should be met before you start dating someone. I don’t care how much money he makes, how good he sounds on paper, or how attracted to him you are. If he doesn’t respect you, as a woman, as a human being, and as you yourself from the get-go, then it shouldn’t take you three dates, or five dates, or a hundred dates to realize that he’s not worth it. You shouldn’t be dating him to begin with.
In a relationship where someone respects you, counting down the dates until you sleep together doesn’t matter. He’ll respect you, love you, and think the sun shines out of your ass regardless.
Dumb dumb dumb. I have never ever seen this TMI thing or ever heard of it, but I think they are retarded. I don’t think that women were put on earth to service men, or to make their lives more difficult. If you look at sex as doing a man a favor, you are probably doing something wrong. Life, and dating, doesn’t have to be tit for tat all the time. Get over it. I slept with my boyfriend the night that I met him in person, and we have been dating for almost 4 years. Obviously that isn’t a good idea for every one and that isn’t going to work for everyone…but you shouldn’t base your life on other people’s rules. These are 3 single girls telling you how to get a man to respect you?! F that. They are bitter single girls, that are trying to make sex a game, when you love someone it isn’t like that and it doesn’t matter if you have been dating for 5 minutes or 5 years, when it is right it is right.
